


here we go

by angelheartbeat



Series: fuck it ill do it myself [7]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers Tower, Developing Relationship, Domestic Avengers, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Secret Crush, Slow Burn, Tony Stark Is a Good Bro, Undercover Missions, Undercover as a Couple
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-19
Updated: 2018-05-20
Packaged: 2019-05-08 23:09:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14704419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelheartbeat/pseuds/angelheartbeat
Summary: It wasn't so much that Bruce didn't notice Thor's attractiveness (because it was hard not to) as it was unwillingness to admit it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> idk what movie this takes place in but probably pre-civil war as the avengers are just chill n happy and its What They Deserve

It wasn't so much that Bruce didn't notice Thor's attractiveness (because it was hard not to) as it was unwillingness to admit it.

They worked on the same team, lived in the same building. He wasn't the type to randomly compliment others. It would just be downright awkward. And in any case he was vaguely jealous. Thor was just so  _confident._

This was the argument Bruce had in his head with himself every morning as he sat at the breakfast bar, shoveling cereal into his mouth like it was the last time he would ever eat (old habits die hard). Thor would most often be stretched out across several chairs, clearing his plate of the mile-high stack of pancakes and/or multiple boxes of pop tarts. And he was just so confident.

"Good morning, young nerds," Tony announced, strolling into the kitchen. 

Not looking up from his cereal, Bruce mumbled a quick  _morning._  

"I'm 1500 years old, Stark," Thor remarked cheerfully, wiping his finger on his plate and licking the leftover maple syrup from it. Tony's head snapped up from flicking on the coffee machine.

"You're what now?"

"1500 years old. The Asgardian life span is much longer than that of your kind."

"No kidding." Natasha's voice was a surprise - none of the three had noticed her wander into the kitchen, and she winked at them when Bruce jumped.

The coffee machine deposited a mug of steaming black coffee into Tony's hand, and he slurped it eagerly, cursing as he burned his mouth. Bruce rolled his eyes and returned to shoving food in his mouth like he hadn't eaten in days.

"Morning, team!" 

Steve came into the kitchen with a bounce in his step, glancing round at everybody in various states of pyjama-ed tiredness, from Bruce who looked like he might pass out at any moment, to Natasha who looked no different to any time of day.

"I'm glad you're all here," Steve began, before frowning and re-counting the number of Avengers in the room. "Hold on. We're missing Clint."

"I'm here, I'm here," came Clint's voice, dripping with exhaustion as he came in and yawned widely, blinking a few times and making a beeline directly for the coffee machine.

Doing another quick once-over of the kitchen, Steve nodded. "Okay. We have a mission for us today - someone has been smuggling important weapons from a government facility and running an underground ring to sell them among other.. unsavoury things."

"You can say drugs and sex, Steve, its okay," Tony sarcastically commented. "You won't melt into a puddle of America just for saying the s-word."

Besides shooting Tony a glare, Steve ignored the comment. "We're gonna have to infiltrate the operation. Going at it guns blazing is going to get us nowhere. Thats at you, Tony."

Ignoring Tony's offended scoff, Bruce pushed his bowl aside and frowned. "If its a covert operation, why are we involved? Wouldn't Shield cover it themselves?"

"They think our expertise is required to make the mission a success. Besides, they say we could all use a lesson in subtlety."

"Nat and I are spies, why do we need a lesson in subtlety?" Clint remarked from where he was quietly sipping his coffee.

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Last mission we were on as spies you blew our cover by crunching chips too loudly."

"It sounds like a worthy mission," Thor interjected, talking over Clint's spluttering that Natasha was spreading lies and slander to besmirch the good Barton name. "When do we leave?"

"There's an event occurring tonight in the main hub of the ring. The leaders will be there - its some sort of party. If all goes well, we'll be able to take them down with ease."

"Aren't we a little conspicuous?" Tony asked. "I mean as you say, we're not exactly subtle, and we're all recognisable."

"I'm not," Bruce said, glancing between Tony and Steve. "People only focus on the Other Guy, they don't really know me."

"We'll be in disguise."

"But I could go in on my own-"

"We want to minimise the risk of a code green. Hopefully you may not even have to go at all."

Bruce couldn't really tell if he was annoyed or relieved. He had to say he was verging on annoyed. He was an Avenger too, damnit, and being left out of missions just hurt a little, even if he was utterly useless without Hulk.

He'd thought he hid the disappointment fairly well, but his mask was clearly lapsing, as Thor spoke up not long after. "We go as a team. We cannot leave a member behind."

Quietly, Clint mumbled that  _ohana means family,_ while Steve nodded. "Alright. If you're sure you can handle it, Bruce. Well, we may well need the big guy if things go south."

Bruce couldn't help but smile a little bit, and twisted round to see Thor giving him an award-winning smile of his own.

And there was most certainly not a fluttering in his stomach.

* * *

Donning disguises was a wonderful thing for the Avengers. Tony always complained about his hair getting messed up, and entirely refused to shave his goatee, which made making him unrecognisable a whole lot harder. As spies, Natasha and Clint were masters of disguise, and being able to change his look in a flash of lightning made things a lot easier for Thor. 

Bruce barely had to do a thing, being as inconspicuous as he was naturally, and it wasn't long before they were gathered in a room together, glancing round and snickering quietly at each other's outfits. 

"Now, we all have our names and stories straight?" Steve asked, or Johnny as he would be known for the night.

Nodding, Bruce ran over his character in his head again. He didn't exactly see why he couldn't just be himself - but then again, Thaddeus Ross had ensured that the name Bruce Banner was widely known among all aspects of society. For the night, he was Robert Michaels, Rob to his friends, weapons enthusiast who collected guns in his spare time and was  _very_ interested in the weapons the leaders of the ring were stealing and selling. It was easy enough to remember.

"We'll be less conspicuous if we split into small groups than if we stick with all six of us. But try not to be caught on your own - remember we'll be among a hotbed of criminal activity, and you don't want to get caught up in anything illegal," Steve warned them. "Keep us all updated when you can, using the earpieces. We all good?"

"Yeah, I have a question," Tony spoke up, his tone bitter but jokey. "I fucking hate my character. Dungeon master, I'd like to trade."

"Okay, no questions? Alright. Lets roll out."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well this didnt go how i thought it would
> 
> next chapter will b the party 
> 
> i dont know what im DOING


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i normally try to avoid using non-canon characters in fic but like. sometimes u Gotta

Several hours later, Bruce could very decidedly say he was uncomfortable. 

He had done the exact opposite of what Steve had suggested - he had managed to get stuck on his own, unable to locate the others in the honest-to-god  _warehouse_ they were meant to be finding weapons dealers in. On top of that, he was fairly certain his earpiece had up and died on him, leaving him stranded in a sea of criminals with a strict instruction to  _not Hulk out._

Eventually, he perched himself at a bar and ordered a drink, hoping to spot one of his teammates among the crowd. Thus far, his attempt had been unsuccessful.

"Hey, baby," came a voice pulling him out of his thoughts, and he jumped a little, looking up to see a woman in a skintight dress hopping up onto the barstool next to him. A thick scar adorned her cheek and Bruce shivered. "Whatcha thinking about all lonely over here?"

Shoving down the nausea, Bruce put on a fake smile and tried to look flirtatiously awkward. "Nothing much. I heard there were some good deals from the leaders of this whole thing," and a vague gesture to the room, "so I thought I may as well tag along."

"Well you shouldn't be all the way tucked in the corner!" Her laugh was loud and brash, and irritated Bruce to no end. "Whats your name, sweetheart?"

"B- Rob." Shit. He was really bad at remembering code names. "Yours?"

"Oh, that doesn't matter, sweetie. You're a delicious looking morsel, Rob. I could just eat you right up!"

She laughed again, and Bruce could almost see the gold fillings in her back teeth, and repressed a shudder. He hated getting hit on at bars.

"I hope you don't mean that literally," Bruce joked uncomfortably, crooking the corner of his mouth and resisting the instinct to flee. The woman giggled and winked at him, putting a hand on his knee.

"Maybe I do, honey," she flirted, low and smokey, and  _wow,_ her hand was sliding much further up Bruce's leg than he was comfortable with (which would be if it wasn't there at all).

A hand on Bruce's shoulder made him jump, and he was eternally relieved to turn around and see Thor, imposing and wearing a heavy scowl directed right at the woman, or specifically her hand on Bruce's leg.

"Are you bothering my boyfriend, ma'am?" he asked, voice threatening, and Bruce wasn't sure whether he could attribute the electricity crackling through him to Thor's hand on his shoulder or his words. One word, specifically.

The woman seemed unbothered, although she did slide her hand a little back towards Bruce's knee. "Not at all," she said cheerfully. "We were having a delightful conversation. Weren't we, Robbie?"

She lifted her hand off his thigh and touched his cheek, winking, and Bruce couldn't help but lean back into the solid mass of Thor behind him, who patted his shoulder and moved forward to grab her hand, removing it from Bruce's cheek with a dangerously intimidating expression. She scowled at Thor, made a kissy face at Bruce and slid off the barstool, making her way back into the midst of partygoers as Thor flopped into the seat she vacated.

"Are you okay, Banner?" he asked, voice soft. Bruce shivered, taking a sip of the drink he had almost forgotten.

"Yeah, I'm good."

"I apologise for using the suggestion that we are paramours. It was the first idea I had to ensure she left."

"No, no, its fine." It was more than fine. Bruce couldn't quite explain the churning in his stomach when he looked at Thor's earnest eyes, but he was making a weak attempt at ignoring it. "How has everyone else been getting on? Have we gathered any intel? I think my earpiece stopped working, so.."

Stretching up as straight as he could (no mean feat with Thor around) Bruce scanned the crowd one more time, trying to locate even one of his team.

"We could go and locate them ourselves," Thor suggested, and Bruce nodded, figuring leaving his corner would probably be much easier if he had Thor to cleave a path through the party.

"Alright," he agreed, hopping off his bar stool. Thor took his hand and interlinked their fingers, and Bruce blinked a few times, delighting in the thrill of electricity running up his arm. "Whats this?"

Laughing, Thor winked. "Its so I don't lose you. And perhaps it would be practical to continue the ruse of us being romantically involved? In case we run into that hyena of a woman again."

Oh, that was just fine by Bruce. He squeezed Thor's hand and they set off into the party.

* * *

Locating Tony was a breeze - he was surrounded by enthralled partygoers hanging onto his every word, his disguise a thin veil. Anyone could have guessed who he was, if they cared enough to peer past the fake beard and thick glasses he had donned to pose as Richard Twining, or Rich Twat as Clint had nicknamed him.

Clearly, he was having issues with turning off his trademark Tony charm, flirting with every criminal on his arm. None of them had seemed to clock that he was Iron Man, though, so as Bruce and Thor passed they saw no need to intervene, simply exchanging nods with "Richard" as they passed by.

Not too far away was Natasha, flirting with a dangerous-looking gentleman who kept stroking her arm, with Clint lurking nearby, buzzing with the urge to punch the leering creep away from his best friend.

"Rob! Jake!" came Steve's voice, calling out to Bruce and Thor's characters, and they turned to see him sliding through the crowd to them, looking around furtively as he drew closer. "How go things?"

People were paying them no mind at all, but Bruce still glanced about anxiously as he replied. "I've got nothing thus far. I thought you said to stick in groups? Everyone seems to have broken off."

"Oh, no, I've been with Richard, I just went to get us drinks, and Lizzie and David have been together the whole time. Why, have you two been split up?"

"Indeed," Thor replied, as Bruce ran through the names in his mind, connecting them to his friends. "I have not yet gathered any information either, unfortunately. We will let you know, though."

"Alright. Sounds good. Keep me updated."

With that, Steve nodded at them and disappeared back into the crowd, reappearing at Tony's side and seemingly joining in the conversation effortlessly.

"He didn't question us holding hands," Bruce remarked amusedly, and Thor squeezed the hand in question.

"I think I see something occurring down that corridor," Thor said in response, not addressing the hand-holding, and gesturing at a hallway in the corner. Bruce squinted, indeed noticing a shifty character disappearing down it.

"Lets go," he whispered, weaving through the crowd towards the corner. They had a mission to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im developing a vague plan! but endings are like. shitty so im sorry


End file.
